Sans Dunks Linda
by TickerTapeParade
Summary: A story for the Undertale PTA AU. Sans has had enough of Linda's shenanigans, and decides to put a stop to them at the next PTA meeting.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: This is the first fanfiction I have ever written and uploaded to the site. Constructive criticism is appreciated greatly! If you create anything based upon this, please let me know! I would love nothing more than to know I had inspired someone else, like you inspire me._

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It was a bright Thursday afternoon, the sun shining down upon the world with a pleasing warmth that was unusual for a late fall day. Sans, as the only monster who wasn't working at the time, had the job of attending PTA meetings

It had started as soon as Frisk had begun attending school. Frisk had come home with a note from their teacher, inviting all the parents of children attending the school the weekly meetings about school related events. Toriel, ever the concerned mother, had wanted to be the one to go. However, her job as a school teacher unfortunately kept her busy on school nights, and the other's had other responsibilities to attend to. The task naturally fell to Sans, by process of elimination.

Not that Sans didn't want to do it, of course. He had grown attached to Frisk in they way only saving your entire race from an eternity underground can do, and he was curious as to the way the outside world worked.

"I'm sure I'll _meet_ all of your expectations, Tori." He had winked when approached.

The first few meetings had gone swimmingly. Most of the parents had no trouble accepting monsters, and Sans had even noticed a few other monsters in attendance.

Most, of course, being the operative word. While the majority of the adults were accepting, a few had demonstrated to Sans that not everything was going to be smooth sailing. And of all those parents, there were none he loathed more than Linda.

Sans kicked a few fallen leaves out of the way as he walked to the school. He enjoyed these walks, the crisp fall air blew gently around, kicking the fallen leaves into a colourful dance that reminded him why he did this week after week.

As he drew closer he thought of what Frisk had told him several days ago. They had come home with a somber expression, a far cry from the happy smile usually beaming upon them. They barely touched their dinner, and they sat without saying a word as they did their homework. Sans, the ever observant skeleton that he was, confronted them after they had finished.

"Hey kiddo. What's up? Papyrus' spaghetti not sitting well?"

Frisk shook their head. They signed that Linda had been a chaperone on their field trip. Frisk signed that she told them to use "quiet hands" while signing excitedly to their friends, and had ignored repeated requests by both them and the teacher to be referred to as they.

Sans gritted his teeth in anger, and told Frisk that he would remedy the situation as soon as he could. That seemed to set them at ease, and they went to sleep with their usual happy demeanor.

Arriving at the school, Sans made his way to the teacher's lounge where they held the meetings. He took his usual place by the window, facing the door, the meeting being a few moments away from starting.

After a few minutes of murmurs of conversation among the parents, the meeting was called to begin.

Sans was just leaning back in his chair, fully prepared to take it easy until the appropriate time, when the first member to speak made him snap to attention.

Linda had called the first motion of the night. Her brown, straight hair came down to a finely cut halt just past her ears, contrasting with her pale blue shirt. She had large, gold hoop earrings in either ear, and she projected a self righteous, arrogant aura over the entire room.

It appeared that Sans would get his chance sooner than he had thought.


	2. Chapter 2

A peculiar feeling came over Sans as Linda prepared to speak. On one hand, he had no wish to hear Linda's opinion upon any topic, she had made her position very apparent on almost every issue imaginable. But at the same time, he knew that a mind like hers has no filter, and so he bided his time.

"As I informed everyone last week," Linda began pompously, "The drama budget will not be enough to cover the cost of the set for this years play. And despite my best efforts, the bake sale did not quite cover the cost. So I suggest we cut unnecessary spending to compensate."

A fair point, if conceitedly presented. It didn't bother him however, there was no need to rush. There was still plenty of time left in the meeting, so Sans sat and waited.

The discussion remained upon the topic of the play for some time, as no one was able to come up with a feasible plan. Suggestions ranged wildly in scope and realism, and some choice comments were made often by Linda.

" _My_ kid likes that too much for it to stop"

"Perhaps if _some people_ pulled their weight, that could work."

"That's a _monstrous_ idea."

She had a way of tearing down ideas without giving anything of her own. Any of her comments could have been cause for a response from Sans, but to everyone's surprise he had remained uncharacteristically silent. Outside he was smiling, but inside he gritted his teeth and waited for her to cross the line.

"Why don't we fire the translator?"

Sans heard it as soon as it had spilled from her mouth. It was Linda's first suggestion of the meeting, and the opportunity Sans had been waiting for.

"And just what do you mean by that, Linda?" He said, keeping himself in check for the moment.

"Frisk isn't even deaf; he's just faking it for attention. Besides, my kid cannot focus with him flapping his hands about like some retard." Linda said, smug satisfaction plastered upon her face.

The room was silent. Sans' anger could be felt by everyone, and his words were dripping with venom

"Care to run that by me again, Linda?"

Somehow, Linda was oblivious to the tension that filled the room, threatening to make it burst at the seams.

"If your son wants to act like an autist, I couldn't care less. But keep him, and all the other freaks away from normal children like my son." She sat back and folded her arms across her chest, satisfied in her perceived victory.

"Linda, where do I even start?" Sans voice started quiet, like the calm of the sea before a storm.

"First of all, we pay for the translator on our own, so that idea was just as terrible as all your other ones. And you're right. Frisk isn't deaf. Don't congratulate yourself for it, you know you're never right on purpose. Frisk is mute."

His voice was a crescendo, a rising tide of pent up fury beginning to spill over.

"Also, don't you dare misgender them again. Frisk is comfortable with gender neutral pronouns. You of all people should care about a child's comfort, because you spoil your son as though it were his last day on Earth. But despite your pampering you still refuse to vaccinate him."

"Vaccines cause autism." Linda's resolve was faltering, and she spluttered over her words.

"Vaccines do not cause autism, read a book for once. And even if they did, you would rather a child die a horrible, painful, drawn out death than be born with a disability?"

"W-" Whatever her response would have been, it was cut off immediately by Sans.

"Don't embarrass yourself like your lemon squares did at the bake sale. Toriel sold everything she brought in the time it took for you to sell one of those abominations. You and your ignorant opinions are a blight upon this PTA. You will stay away from my family. And while I know you didn't even try to learn sign language, there is one sign I am sure you'll understand."

With that, Sans extended a single bony finger, letting her stare daggers at it for a moment before sitting down. Linda's face was red with rage, stumbling incoherently over any attempt to communicate. The other members sat still in a shocked silence.

After a few agonizing moments, Linda got up and left. On her way, she slammed the door with enough force to rattle the building. Without a word, it was unanimously decided that the meeting was over. A few words were spread about everyone donating a little to try to pay for the play, but Sans heard very little.

He left through the backdoor unnoticed by the parents who were in a hurry to leave. As soon as he was out of sight, he took a shortcut home, the pleasing weather all but forgotten. He was feeling a miasma of guilt, anger, and elation at what had transpired. There was one thing he was sure of, however.

Linda would never bother his family again.


End file.
